i want to be supportive but i keep screwing up
Trying to support your kid in their new identity can feel like walking a tightrope. Blindfolded. The degree of difficulty is insane. You never know when you’re gonna misstep. And the emotions!
Doubt. Disbelief. Disappointment. Secret shame. Guilt.
They just came out as something other than you expected and now you have a host of conflicting emotions. You wonder if it’s just a phase, or if you have somehow done something to make this happen.
You worry that they will be bullied, or worse.
But most unnerving of all, you are forced to re-examine what you believe about things you took for granted.
You’re either a boy or a girl, right?
The whole idea of gender being on a spectrum may be a new concept for you. It takes some getting used to.
That’s okay.
My kid is gay.
You think you have a tolerant view until the person you love most in the world challenges it.
Being gay is fine for those “other” people but you never really considered what it would mean if it happened in your family.
And yet here you are, and you have to find a way to deal.
There is no “right” answer.
Every child has to figure out who they are for themselves.
Every parent has to figure out how they can best support their child while at the same time figuring out how to cope with all of their own emotions.
It’s a lot to deal with.
And it’s not something you want to talk about with your workout buddy or your book club.
Heck, you’re not even sure how to tell the grandparents.
You need a safe place to figure it out.
You’ve come to the right place. Not only have I been trained in working with LGBTQ+ kids, I’m also a parent of kids who identify somewhere on both the gender and sexuality spectrums.
Let me help you find your way to peace with their decision, acceptance of who they are, and digging deep to be supportive even when you’re not 100% bought in. Think of me as your emotional safety net.
What you can expect in our time together
A 50-minute block of time where you can find
- hope that you can keep your family intact
- support for getting everyone on board
- guidance on what to say and how to say it
- resources to help you keep your footing
Navigating a landscape of new terminology and trying to be the “cool, supportive mom” while internally screaming because you don’t want to say the wrong thing can be terrifying.
You know you’re ready for therapy with Laura when…
- You spend your evenings studying LGBTQ+ terminology like you’re cramming for a final exam, but you still panic and call a “they/them” a “theirs” in the heat of a grocery store debate.
- You’ve realized that the only way to get more than a one-word answer out of your kid is to slide a plate of chicken nuggets or a boba tea under their bedroom door like you’re feeding a high-security inmate.
- You are trying so hard to be the “affirming, open-minded parent” that your face has frozen into a permanent mask of intense, slightly terrifying curiosity every time they mention a new friend.
- You realize that a 15-second video from a stranger in Portland has more influence over your child’s emotional well-being than the heartfelt 20-minute speech you gave at dinner last night.
- Every time you recount your kid’s “Coming Out” story, you try to make yourself sound more like a PFLAG poster child and less like the person who accidentally dropped a plate of spaghetti when they heard the news.
Being the mom of an LGBTQ+ kid is like trying to build a bridge across a canyon while you’re already standing in the middle of it – with a heavy backpack and a manual written in a language you’re still learning to decode. Seeking counseling isn’t a sign that you “messed up”; it’s a sign that you’re willing to build a better bridge. It’s about finding an LGBTQ-affirming therapist who can act as a translator so you can stop walking on eggshells and start actually talking again. (Spoiler alert – you found that therapist.)